Amusing Quotes

Amusing Quotes, funny phrases amusing inspirational quotes, witty quotes, hilarious quotes, amusing facts, amusing poems, amusing quotes about life, amusing inspirational quotes, amusing quotes about work

The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life. ~ George Carlin

If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door. ~ Paul Beatty

I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it. ~ Jack Handey

I always wait for the times each morning. I look at the obituary column and if I'm not in it, I go to work. ~ A.E.Matthews

In life, it's not who you know that's important, it's how your wife found out. ~ Joey Adams

Funny thing how you first meet the woman that you marry. I first met the wife in a tunnel of love. She was digging it. ~ Les Dawson

Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock. ~ John Barrymore

It's better to have loved and lost than to do forty pounds of laundry a week. ~ Laurence J Peter

You can't buy love on eBay. ~ Anonymous

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? ~ Unknown

If you rest, you rust. ~ Helen Hayes

Life's more amusing than we thought. ~ Andrew Lang

I enjoy life. I think I'll enjoy death even more. ~ Cat Stevens

You can't expect to hit the jackpot if you don't put a few nickels in the machine. ~ Flip Wilson

Life is not so bad if you have plenty of luck, a good physique and not too much imagination. ~ Christopher Isherwood

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong. ~ Andy Rooney

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